March 29, 2011

Day 2 of Cycle 2 done. Yesterday I went in for the whole shebang. They went through the notes on my last Rituxan experience, and this time pre-medicated me for everything that had been bad the first time. And it worked! I got through it fine, no embarrassing myself or anything like that. Today went well too. I have taken all the coaching tips and just decided to stay on the nausea medications for 10 days constantly and hopefully not have problems with it. Dr. Te said he is liking how I am responding to the treatment and wants me to go in for a CT scan on April 21st to see how the nodes are. I can tell you that they have shrunk, I can feel the size of them. But so far, so good. I continually am amazed at sweet family and friends and their care and concern. I love you all. Thanks for what you do for me.

Saturday March 26, 2011

It seems as though I have done a lot of complaining here, so I thought I'd better also write the good. After the hospital stay and the powerful antibiotics, Thursday I felt better than I have for a long time. Pain free, nausea free. It has felt WONDERFUL the last few days. I appreciate every time that I realize I don't have a headache, and feeling my face and it being not sweaty and the right temperature, and no pain! Maybe that's one of the many lessons I am supposed to learn through this trial. Be grateful for the little things, that are so easily taken for granted. I am learning! And appreciating. I plan to enjoy tomorrow with Kreigh and Kris and Atreyu and Roger, and make the most of it.

Then chemo starts again on Monday. I'm a little nervous because I will be getting all three drugs on Monday and will be hoping that the Rituxan doesn't have the same effect it did last time. They tell me it should go much better because my body has now been introduced to it. So I'm crossing my fingers.

I realize I haven't passed on the good news too, that it looks like I will be keeping my hair. They told me I would know in 3 weeks if I would lose it, and so far nothing. So Yay!

Have a great Sunday.

Tuesday, March 21, 2011

I never got feeling better last week. So Sunday I decided to take no Tylenol or lortab and see what my fever really was. It was 100.6, so I finally called Dr. Te's answering service. He was not on call, so Dr. Anwar called me back. He listened to what had been going on and then told me he wanted to admit me to the hospital for IV antibiotics. So Sunday morning, I headed to the hospital. I spent 48 hours there getting antibiotics and watching my fever. I did not feel well. Ironically, I was now a patient on the floor I had worked on when we moved to St. George, so I was treated by a few familiar faces. But let me tell you, I hated being a patient.

After 7 doses of the antibiotic, my fever seemed to be in control, so I was discharged this morning with prescription Levaquin for the next week. I am scheduled to have chemo start next Monday, and will have labs drawn that morning to make sure it is ok. So it has been a rough, discouraging week. I feel so guilty getting absolutely nothing productive done, but I just don't have it in me. Roger has been so good to be with me and make sure I have what I need. I am definitely tired of feeling this way. Sometimes I have to remind my self of the big picture and that it is all headed to me feeling good again.

Friday March18, 2011

Wednesday I started getting sick. I was up literally all night trying to get comfortable, but I just hurt in every joint. Finally after some lortab i got some relief. Through Thursday my temperature would flirt closely with 100.5. That is the point where the doctor wants to hear about it. But I never went over, so never called. I felt ill all day yesterday and lortab would finally make me feel better. I slept well, and today woke up feeling still achy, but better than the days before. So I don't know if I've been sick, or it is chemo. I feel weird things now, and just never know why. Everyday I take two antibiotics which is common while on chemo. So I don't know what can get through them. I worry about going out in crowds, yet I have to live. But I need to be diligent in handwashing, and the places I put myself. I haven't come to the point of wearing a mask in public, that just would seem to weird. But I'll never say never, since this will be a long 6 months of not knowing what is coming. I am hoping for a good week this next week, my last before the next chemo treatments.

March 14, 2011

Another week down. A pretty good one. As far as nausea goes, I only felt it on two days, and it wasn't too bad. The thing that has been tough has been the fatigue. With the chemo regimen I am on the period between day 10 and 14 of the 28 day cycle is called "Nadir". The definition of nadir is the lowest point. This refers to the white and red counts and platelets. So they get to their lowest point during this period of time and then hopefully start to build up.

My labs drawn last Monday, the 7th, showed my platelets were in normal range, but within one week, my white count was down to 3.4! Crazy stuff this chemo. So now it is below normal now, when it has been high for so long. My red couts have dropped too unfortunately. I am anemic and low in my hematocrit, red count, and hemoglobin. So that is why I'm worn out. I get my labs drawn again today, we'll see what has changed in a week.

So, it was a week of not doing much and just resting. I am so blessed to not have to be working right now. I can just take the time I need to rest.

On another note, we have been so saddened by the tragedy in Japan. We feel a closer bond to the country and people now, and are just so saddened for what they are going through right now. We don't know if Kyle's mission will be altered at all. But I'm sure it will be affected in many ways as the country will be rebuilding. So maybe more humanitarian service will be needed by the missionaries. And as these people are left with nothing, their hearts may be ready to hear about the gospel and the comfort it brings and to be ready to hear about our Savior. It will be interesting.

March 8, 2011

What a week. Such low down lows, but also a big high with Kyle's mission call. Yay for Japan! It was a long miserable weekend of not feeling good. My parents came down to visit and take care of me. Even at 46 it feels good to have your Mommy and Daddy around when you are sick. And spoiled us with yummy cooking. It is hard to describe Friday and Saturday especially. I had no energy, or desire to do anything at all. That included talking, reading, watching TV, anything. It felt like my arms and legs were weighed down and everything was an effort. The nausea lasted through Sunday, but lessened a little each day.

So here I am on Tuesday morning with a much better outlook and disposition. I admit I was very discouraged wondering if the next three weeks would feel that way. But as of today, it is not true. I feel pretty good. No nausea and I even made it to Walmart. Stocking up for the weird cravings I was having. Cold juice, cold fruit cocktail, smoothies, and chocolate milk. And for those who know me, I haven't even wanted a Diet Coke for a week. I know. Amazing.

I went from going to bed about 8 every night because I was so exhausted, to now not being able to sleep. I don't know what that is all about but this morning at 4:30 a.m. I was filing away our 2010 bills and such.

So, today is a good day, and I am optimistic.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

It has been a rough couple of days. After the fatigue has come the nausea and not keeping things down. I am trying to learn about my medications and what will work to get me through. I just really haven't felt good. Sleep is my friend. More later.

Day 4 Cycle 1

I got through the 4th chemo treatment fine. But after getting home, it started to hit. Just a draining, worn out feeling that was beyond what I'd felt so far. My arms felt like they were 50 pounds each and my eyes were tired. So no reading, or TV watching, just basically laying around as a lump listening to things. I am up this morning feeling a little better, but not ready to run a race. But I am definitely going to be storing up some energy for cheering and shouting as Kyle open's his mission call tonight! It's hard to believe that 2 years of his future, and something that will change his life forever, is sitting in this pretty white envelope. I am very excited!!

Day 3 Cycle 1

Another good day. The chemo went well, again no side effects. The infusion nurse told me probably a day or two before I would feel them. Not sure what they will be for me as it seems everyone is different. It is interesting to sit in the room with others and listen to the conversations. My first two friends today are both in the 70s and both have acute leukemia. I love their sense of humor and look on life. The nurses really are spitfires right back at the patients, and it is the huggingest group of people ever! The ladies that came in later were talking about their wigs and hair loss. I still am hopeful that it will not be a worry for me.

Day 2 Cycle 1

What a difference today's chemo was that yesterday. The Rituxan I had yesterday is a smart drug that can actually search out cancer cells and target them to be killed. It's side effects hit pretty hard and fast, so it was a tough day yesterday. Today I had Cyclophosphamide and Fludarabine which are the chemo drugs that just kill fast growing cells. That means cancer cells, but also attacks the other fast growing cells in your body. Namely the gastrointestinal tract, skin, and hair. They think I will not lose all my hair, but that it might thin out. I am being optimistic and not wig shopping. The nurses are great, and I'm already making some chemo friends that have been there both days. They are old and love to talk! I'm still waiting to see someone under the age of 70 walk in. But today was a good day.